Write about 5 things you would do to entertain yourself if you did not see a soul for 7 days.

First off, this would be like heaven, drizzled in melted chocolate, sprinkled with Reece’s Pieces and covered in whipped cream. All over my body. With a hulking piece of man meat to lick it off. Slowly. Or alternatively, it could be this guy, covered in said high fructose corn syrup chemical creations and I lick it off. Slowly. Go ahead, imagine your tongue tracing those pecs, and that lovely line down his abdominals.

Captain Fucking America!!

Captain Fucking America!!

It’s too bad we’re not allowed one soul for this writing prompt. I could think of 69 things to keep myself occupied for 7 days.

I’m guessing dicking around on Facebook, my very favorite activity, is not really an option. I could do that for days. There are so many pages and groups and memes to enjoy. When I’m not on Facebook, I’m following the drama on Babycenter’s Debate Team or Bargain Hunters Board. There is no shortage of whackadoos there!

So let us pretend that I am not allowed to use my computer for this. Let me assume that while I will not see a soul, no soul will see me. There was no clarification in the prompt that there are no Peeping Toms. That would be a game changer. Or not.

The first thing I would do is dance. My current rhythm is that of an epileptic fish, removed from its watery home and plopped on the dance floor under a strobe light. Music makes me want to move my body. I “dance” everywhere…at work, in the car, in the shower, while I’m cooking. And by dance, I mean bob my head up and down, maybe swing my fingers back and forth like I’m trying to hypnotize my imaginary friend.  Sometimes I even wiggle my ass a little.

When I tire of dancing, I would hit the sheets for a little astral projection or lucid dreaming. These are skills I’ve been trying to master for some time. I would start with testing the Ganzfeld procedure. Basically, it’s like sensory deprivation. You cut a ping pong ball in half and put each half over your eyes, with a red light illuminating the room. Tune in to some radio or television static. Keep your eyes open (you can blink!) and relax for a while. A long while. This is said to induce hallucinations, but I would first try it to relax enough to go make myself a sandwich or stalk some old paramours without ever leaving my bed.

When astral projection and lucid dreaming fail, I think I would take an hallucinogenic drug, even though I stated in a previous post that I would never! Hopefully it would be a good experience, and not something that looks like a bad SyFy movie. Surely, the graphics in my head are better than whatever CGI experts they employ!

And when I wake up from my trip, I would write, write, write. Brilliance doesn’t just appear on the screen by itself.